B-E-A-U-tiful Day

Tiap hari adalah indah jika Allah SWT bersamamu,

Jika malaikat mendoakanmu,

Jika senandungal-Wuran memberimu semangat,

Jika kerinduan pada Allah SWT jadi penghiburmu,

Maka persembahkan yang t'(…)

 
 

It was cut there. Hhh,.. What's in h** heart now? It is something great, I think. I just can not imagine how great the gift that has been dropped by the sky into h** heart. I can't imagine. Can not.

 
 

Wake up and then say alhamdulillah!

Coz every single syukur you praise to Allah,

Will drop an unbelivable gift in return.

Say it: Alhamdulillah?

Desire and Process

Semalam, kamu banyak memberiKu banyak kebijakan seputar keinginan. These are what you sent to me when I asked you about 'the things that had made you wiser':

Cuma baru nyadar,

Kadang,

apa yang kita inginkan gak sama dengan apa yang kita suka

Apa yang dibutuhin gak sama dengan yang terbaik untuk kita

Tapi, gak jarang kita malah keras kepala mengakuinya.

 
 

Yah, benar bahwasanya Allah selalu menggariskan yang terbaik buat kita. Namun, kita pun selalu diberi kesempatan seluas-luasnya untuk meminta --berdoa, tepatnya-- hal-hal yang dalam persepsi kita adalah yang terbaik. Toh, kita masih harus melaluijalan yang berat untuk meraih hal terbaik itu. Pada akhirnya, bisa saja kita meraih kebaikan yang lebih melimpah daripada apa yang kita inginkan di awalnya. Semua itu karena proses berat yang kita jalani tadi. Mengimpikan, meminta, berdoa, berusaha. Usaha kita pun rasanya tidak akan main-main kalau kita mengejar yang terbaik. Lari, melompat, terjatuh, bangkit, lari lagi, merangak, merayap, tiarap, berdarah-darah, terluka, tersayat, patah, remuk redam, apa pun!! Semua itu proses yang indah, yang seringkali memberikan kebaikan dan kebijakan baru dalam kehidupan kita. Memberikan satu warna baru di horizon kehidupan yang putih bersih.

 
 

Apa salahnya menginginkan yang paling baik menurut kita? Kita berhak qok untuk itu! Bukan egois. Ibrahim as. yang sudah tua pun masih terus menginginkan yang paling baik menurutnya: anak yang soleh. Doa Ibrahim as. tiada henti disenandungkan. Seperti tak mengenal putaran bumi yang silih berganti mengantarkan gelap dan menjemput terang, tetap saja Ibrahim as. Berdoa: "Robbi hab lii min ash-shoolihiin". Toh, Inrahim as. menikmati proses itu sebagai sebuah kebaikan: kedekatan yag lebih intens kepada Robb-nya, dan sebuah kebijakan: tak ada yang ustahil bagi Robb-nya. Toh , pada akhirnya Allah memberikan yang jauh lebih baik. Ingat: "yang jauh lebih baik", bukan "yang lain yang lebih baik". Artinya, keinginan Ibrahim as. yang semula dengan proses mendekatkan diri secara luar biasa dibalas dengan keinginan yang sama, namun nilainya lebih berharga, ada nilai tambah di situ: "fa basysyarnaahu bighulaamin haliim". Wow!! Subhanallah!! Ibrahim as. Meminta keturuna yang 'sholih', Allah memberikan tidak sekedar 'sholih', tapi juga 'halim' (santun). Ah!! Kenapatah kita masih saja lupa untuk belajar dari Ibrahim as..

 
 

Intinya, tak ada yangsalah dengan keinginan kita. Masalah terletak pada proses kita meraihnya dan itu menentukan hasilnya: better or worse.

about choices

Bayu Panji Permono: ian
luvdontwait: ??
Bayu Panji Permono: gw jarang keliat lo kumpul BP
Bayu Panji Permono: emang kenapa?
luvdontwait: kan lagiaktif di luar.
luvdontwait: they need me more
Bayu Panji Permono: tapi bukan itu pointnya
Bayu Panji Permono: lo khan punya tanggung jawab juga
Bayu Panji Permono: emang ada yang salah dengan BP ini?
luvdontwait: MTI n KAMMI treated me differently
luvdontwait: I can run,but I can’t hide [MTI]
luvdontwait: I can run,I can hide, but i can’t escape [KAMMI]
Bayu Panji Permono: terus punya solusi?
luvdontwait: what do you think th differences??
Bayu Panji Permono: gw ngerasa lo jadi lari dari tanggung jawab?
luvdontwait: memang
luvdontwait: dangw gak akan nyangkal
luvdontwait: sometimes, I’m proud of it
luvdontwait: I am BP, and I was run
Bayu Panji Permono: berarti lo nyerah atau gimana?
luvdontwait: I told everybody about it
Bayu Panji Permono: mending lo ngomong
luvdontwait: hhhh,…
luvdontwait: i just can : hhhhh,…
Bayu Panji Permono: daripada gak jelas kayak gini
luvdontwait: ngomong yang mananya??
luvdontwait: semua blumjelasgitudimata BPlain??
luvdontwait: i ran, i hide,..
luvdontwait: i never come back,..
Bayu Panji Permono: emang lo pernah ngomong secara langsung
luvdontwait: A FAMILY ALWAYS FEEL WHAT THE OTHER FEELS, EVEN IF THEY ARE IN A DARK ROOM WITH NO LIGHT AND NO TALKS
luvdontwait: I don’t good in speaking
Bayu Panji Permono: tapi berdiam diri juga gak baik
Bayu Panji Permono: mungkin orang lain tau ada sesuatu yang gak beres
Bayu Panji Permono: tetapi sesuatu itu bisa punya banyak arti
Bayu Panji Permono: untuk memperjelasnya perlu ada konfirmasi dari yang bersangkutan
Bayu Panji Permono: actually, “I’m not good in speaking”
luvdontwait: BP talked to me several times,..
luvdontwait: but I didn’t feel like they were talking with heart,..
Bayu Panji Permono: tapi ada baiknya ketika semua keluarga (BP) berkumpul bersama dan mendengarkan statement dari anda
luvdontwait: asked where had I been,..
luvdontwait: did I had problems,..
Bayu Panji Permono: mungkin kita bisa membahasnya bareng2
luvdontwait: what kind of statement do we need??
luvdontwait: I do no goodin speaking
Bayu Panji Permono: kejelasan
Bayu Panji Permono: tentang sikap anda
luvdontwait: whatkind of clearness??
luvdontwait: kind of: I TAKE THIS MTIFI OR NOT,..
luvdontwait: like that??
Bayu Panji Permono: up to you
luvdontwait: Unfortunately, it is not just about me,..
luvdontwait: it is about a larger hopes,..
luvdontwait: a longer path,..
Bayu Panji Permono: oke gini aja
luvdontwait: go on,…
Bayu Panji Permono: lo mau ngomong terus terang ke anak2 bp
Bayu Panji Permono: atau dibiarin gini aja dan membiarkan anak2 berpikir jelek terhadap anda?
luvdontwait: I’ll take the second option, while I still need a little more time to think
luvdontwait: you may disappointed,..
luvdontwait: but,…
luvdontwait: there is always a consequence in every choice we’ve made
Bayu Panji Permono: oke
Bayu Panji Permono: coba dipikir lagi deh
Bayu Panji Permono: anda terkesan kurang gentle

Take Your Time

Take time to think,
it is the source of all power.

Take time to read,
it is the fountain of wisdom.

Take time to play,
it is the source of perpetual youth.

Take time to be quiet,
it is the opportunity to seek God.

Take time to be aware,
it is the opportunity to help others.

Take time to love and be loved,
it is God-given priviledge.

Take time to laugh,
it is the music of the soul.

Take time to be friendly,
it is the road to happiness.

Take time to dream,
it is what the future is made of.

Take time to pray,
it is the greatest power on earth.

Take time to give,
it is too short a day to be selfish.

Take time to work,
it is the price of success.

Amy Pearson Feat. Rio Febrian - Ready To Fly

Verse 1
I open my eyes the world seems a different place,
The colours are brighter and the air is sweet to taste.
see it’s like I woke up from a nightmare that tied me down,
I was smothered and trapped inside a sleep way underground

Pre 1
Its time I learned to fall,
To say the word goodbye.
To feel the sunlight on my face,
Maybe that means…

Chorus
I’m ready to fly,
I wanna breathe in and breathe out and be who I am,
Let go of fear wanna feel alive.
I’m ready to fly,
The more that you hold me back you set me free,
You help my heart decide..
Maybe I’m, maybe I’m ready to fly.

Verse 2
Where is your faith, where is your love for me?
Why do you fight the things I imagine in my dreams?
See the poison is strong, an addiction is tough to break.
But love is the hardest thing I have ever had to shake.

Pre 2
Its time to break these chains,
To look you in the eye,
To tell you that its over now,
So Maybe that means…

Chorus
I’m ready to fly,
I wanna breathe in and breathe out and be who I am,
Let go of fear wanna feel alive.
I’m ready to fly,
The more that you hold me back you set me free,
You help my heart decide..
Oh Maybe I’m, maybe I’m ready to fly.

Bridge
(Give me the strength to walk away)
(Give me the strength to stay the road ahead)
Even if it’s a lonely place.
(Give me the hope to mend this heart)
(Give me the chance to see love smile, smile again)
To see love smile..

Pre 1
Its time I learned to fall,
To say the word goodbye.
To feel the sunlight on my face,
Maybe that means…Oh maybe that means

Chorus
I’m ready to fly,
I wanna breathe in and breathe out and be who I am,
Let go of fear wanna feel alive.
I’m ready to fly,
The more that you hold me back you set me free,
You help my heart decide..
Oh maybe I’m, maybe I’m ready to fly.

Think October, think SSE

Sunday, October 05, 2008

12:30 AM

It has been October 05, 2008. Where was I last year? In Bandung, of course. But, what did I do? There was surely no radio, no computer. Maybe just friends in my dormitory room. Maybe just laying on my blue bed, thinking anything I could think. What was it? College, girl, subjects of study, friends, or just thinking about nothing? Just,... Laying with blank head over the pillow.

What about last two years? The first 3 months in ITB. What was I doing? Reading my books, walking around the neighborhood, writing on a diary, listening to radio, or what? I was a 'fresh meat' last two years. What was it? Mid test, quiz, final test, homework, or group task? I took Pengantar Teknik Industri as my subject. It was a group task to be done for a semester. Then, there are these guys come into my group; actually, it was 'dummy' group. People who didn't attend into the group dividing, then get into the same group.

They are:

Ilma Jayanti	a.k.a Mail,	I called her iLMa
Santy Dwi Cempaka	a.k.a Santy,	Make sure you srite it 'Santy' with 'y' not 'Santi' with 'i'
Hafni Junita Putri	a.k.a Hafni,	Sometimes write her name as haph_niyh
Maman Dwi Cahyo	a.k.a Maman,	Always call himself nDeso
Ahmed Ziauddin Qayyum	a.k.a Jangier,	No comment

And, of course

Ach. Januar J.P.

a.k.a Ian

Which is ME!!

And that was how our story began. So (sometimes even 'too') much fun. Our laughter seemed to be ever after and our sadness felt like never came.

This part of our life called: FINDING the 'RIGHT' NAME

I don't really remember --in my head-- how did we get the name. The only thing I remember is, there was us, another trip for another data-collecting, and then the name was just jump out from 'broken' heads there: SSE, acronym for Sisa-Sisa Ekspor.

The inspiration was based on these foolish fact:

1st: our group is a 'dummy' group, consists of people who get the latest (actually the dummiest, :D) group dividing.

2nd: we remembered about Factory Outlet, which is selling goods from 'sisa-sisa ekspor'.

Well, there was the first foolish of us: selecting the 'right' name. And, because we believe that A NAME IS A PRAYER FROM ONES WHO GAVE IT, it will feel like a curse choosing such name. But, no matter that our life and our journey is getting bitter and bitter, we just could always laughing the life itself. What a foolish people. Well, bellieve it or not, that foolish things always succeed bringing us back to life; surviving obstacles by obstacles. Ck, ck, ck,.. What a tough people we are!

Aku Bukan Cinta

Waiting for you,… waiting for you,… waiting for you,… just you,… you,… you,… only you,… you,…

Aku tak punya kata-kata lebih banyak lagi dalam penantianKu kali ini. Tapi lucu, Kukatakan dan Kuyakinkan dunia: cinta tak menunggu. Sedangkan Aku sendiri masih terpaku dan menunggu. Pastilah Aku bukan cinta. Aku adalah satu bentuk yang lain. Tentu saja bukan cinta. Aku adalah sebuah rasa yang berbeda. Bukan cinta, sudah Kubilang. Hanya gejolak hati yang menggema. Iya, iya, bukan cinta. Aku hanya dentuman yang terus menerus mengirama di nadi-nadi kehidupanKu. Yang jelas bukan cinta. Bisa saja lebih sakral dari sekedar cinta. Yah, sakralime. Hal yang tak tersentuh, tak terjamah, tak berbentuk nyata, tak terdefinisi, tak terbayangkan, bahkan mungkin tak ada. Tak ada cinta yang jelasnya. Aku hanya not-not balok kehidupan yang berwarna-warni. Benar kan, bukan cinta. Aku hanya kenyataan yang menyelubungi hati dengan kabut-kabut imaji. Imajinasi. Imajinasi bukan cinta. Cinta tidak imajinasi. Kan Aku bukan cinta. Aku hanya derasnya aliran kenyataan yang mengikis pertahananKu akan wanita. Yah,… mau diapa lagi? Ini bukan cinta qok. Ini hanya bidak-bidak hitam-putih yang sedang berlaga di kenyataan yang hitam-putih pula. Bukan laah, bukan cinta laah. Mana bisa cinta? Masa cinta? Bukan cinta lho!! BUKAN!!

Lantas,… ini hanya imaji yang mengantarkan mimpiKu dekat ke mimpimu. Menuntun hidupKu dekat ke hidupmu. Mengajak mataKu dekat menatap dekat matamu. Ada kehidupan DI SANA; kenyataan dam memori. Ini hanya khayalKu yang terus menerus memutar waktu berjalan lebih cepat, sehingga hidupKu semakin dekat pula ke hidupmu. Ya kan? n_n